Posted on November 2, 2007 in Family Law
I previously wrote about “something that appears to be increasingly common nowadays — the live-in relationship, also called common-law marriage.” This is governed by Article 147 of the Family Code, which recognizes, and expressly governs the property relations in, the relationship where a man and a woman live exclusively with each other just like a husband and wife, but without the benefit of marriage (or when the marriage is void). In this situation, property acquired by both spouses through their work and industry shall be governed by the rules on equal co-ownership. Any property acquired during the union is presumed to have been obtained through their joint efforts. As to the homemaker, or the one who cared for and maintained the family household, he/she is still considered to have jointly contributed to the acquisition of a property, even if he/she did not directly participate in the property’s acquisition.
Recently, I stumbled on an interesting article discussing that “cohabitation has become more common than ever before. In fact, more than half of all couples are now living together before they walk down the aisle.” I guess this “study” on cohabitation (or “live-in” relationships or “common-law” marriages), if ever one exists, is in the U.S. It may not be true here in the Philippines, but I could observe an increasing trend.
We also noted that the only readily apparent advantage of a common-law marriage over a formal marriage is in practical terms — the parties who may want to get out of the relationship don’t have to go through the process of annulment/declaration of nullity, a process that is quite tedious, lengthy and expensive.
Whether these observations are right or wrong, you tell me.
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True. Most I knew, due to practical reasons (the emotional freebies and the financial — cheaper when living together).
Pero mas madaming negative sides. Mas malalim ang epekto. Sa tingin ng tao, mag-asawa na sila. Nung nabuntis ang babae, “pamilya na sila”. Then suddenly, nung nagsimula na silang magsama, narealize ni lalaki, di pala niya mahal si babae. Iiwan niya, mahal niya ang anak niya siempre. Pero di nya kayang isipin na habangbuhay siyang nakatali sa babaeng dating akala niya mahal niya.
Eto ngayon, bumalik siya sa una niyang mahal. Nagpakasal sila ng sikreto. At nalaman din ng dalagang ina nang naglaon. Siempre umalma siya. Gumawa ng istorya, nag-iskandalo at sinangkot pa ang pamilya ng bagong asawang babae.
Ang epekto –sa tingin ng tao, si asawang babae ang “pangalawang asawa” at sinasabing ang dahilan ng pagkasira ng pamilya niya. Galit ang pamilya ni lalake sa kanya at ng dalagang ina. Sobrang kahihiyan ang sinapit ng pobreng bagong asawa.
Her marriage is under public scrutiny. Her family is put into public shame. She is demanded to leave her legal husband in favor of the single mom and child. There was no love in them. His sisters can attest that the single mom had never had sexual contact with him after she got pregnant.
They lived for the sake of the child. Does the public know? Will the public understand?
The society is not yet ready to accept such harsh realities. Especially when you are all living in suburbs — where family harmony is most important. There is social stigma.
This is true. I am his wife.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
+7
hi i’ve read your story and i can relate to your story. Just want to ask how you handle the situation.
I’m married to a guy who have to kids from his previous relationship. their relationship didn’t not work out because of many reasons; maagang napasubo sa isang relasyon, infidelity hanggang sa nagdecide na ung husband ko na tapusin na kc wala na talaga. then he pursued me and we are married here in the us though civil lang. ang question ko anu ung right nung ex sa mga savings namin…may habol ba sya kahit di sila kasal at ako lang ang pinakasalan nya
I guess one reason for this is it is so hard to get an annulment and for those who can not afford it, they just live together without the benefit of a marriage.
hi menchie:
may i offer my heartfelt sympathies to you.
just be strong and stand your ground.
good luck!
I am a widow. Me nakilala akong guy na nagooffer sa akin ng marriage. Muslim convert sya. Meron syang first wife and 3 kids, hiwalay na sila for 3 yrs now. Pwede ba kami magpakasal sa Phils? Saan kami pwedeng magpakasal? Dito kami ngayon sa Middle East. Kung dito kami magpapakasal sa sharia court, valid ba ito sa Pnas?
Appreciate your advice.
Menchie, my heart goes with you. I can relate because I am currently in a relationship right now where the my bf has a “common-law marriage.” they have a child and their families are close friends. People think they are “mag-asawa.” I stumbled upon this forum just because i’m confused about my situation. And i have to agree that once our relationship will be out in the public, i will be experiencing the same public scrutiny.
Hi. My boyfriend (of 9 years) and I already lived together for almost 6 months now. We are both 25 years old and working. Our problem is how will we tell our parents regarding our current situation. We are planning to get married on 2010.
mEnchie..=c i can feel your pain.. i’ll be praying for you.. it’s really hard having a relationship like that.
my problem is my bf and i are also living-in.. it started nung naglayas xa and he asked me if he could stay with me saglit. but eventually, the saglit he said became months and now nakita ko na kung ano talaga totoo nyang ugali..=c
he claims to be mature and yet he prefers to play online games than help me with the house chores. he doesn’t even try to find some work..=c my parents doesn’t know about this.. they’re thinking that i’m in school, hopefully graduating this march..
sad truth is, it’s been since summer that i have stopped going to school..=c
i want to be rid of this situation. but i don’t know what to do or where i should go. if i could just only zap myself and disappear forever. =c this is not the life that i want. the love that i have for him is slowly ebbing..
regrets kung tlaga di mo n sya mahal then its tym 4 u 2 kick him out ok ng ayan ngayon plng nagsisisi kna kesa nman tumagal pa para sya linta o parasite n nkasiksik sayo no wonder pinalayas din sya s knila kaya nag paampon sayo
umayos nga kayo. am sure di kayo nag-isip bago nyo pinasok relationships nyo. tapos ngayon nagsisisi kayo. eto na lang gawin nyo. kung di pa too late baguhin ang takbo ng buhay nyo…gawin nyo na hanggang maaga pa. geh, pray na lang ako para sa inyo. sana next time gamitin naman muna utak. ok na to ganito…pinapagalitan ko kayo. paminsan-minsan kasi kailangan ng tao mapagalitan para magising sa katotohanan. e-mail nyo na lang ako kung may feedback kayo. paalam. God bless!
It’s true. It’s very expensive to get an anullment. My boyfriend was once married to a woman who committed adultery. He did not file a criminal case against her because he was thinking of his their 2 young kids then. He just wants an anullment now for us to settle down but he can’t get it until all of his savings from 6 years of working abroad ran out. It’s the marriage law’s fault why a lot of couples are just living in together.
I can’t leave my bf because I love really love him. Besides, it was not his fault why his first marriage didn’t work out. His wife had an affair with another married man. Since then, they did not see each other again. It has been 10 years since that happened. I really want to get married with the one I really love. What can I do? We are planning to get married in my hometown without his annulment. But I know that marriage won’t be legal. I am scared to tell my whole family that my bf now is already married to another woman. They always ask us about the wedding. I feel guilty whenever they do that. They are really expecting that I would end up walking down the aisle in a wedding gown. My bf is so responsible. My relatives from both sides love him. We are thinking of pursuing the wedding just for them and keep the secret within the two of us while working on the annulment. Please give some pieces of advice. What can I do?
Hi, me too. i’m one of those who are so called common – law wives.
I was once married to an irresponsible husband and father of my 4 kids.
But now, i.ve found my perfect match. He is single and really wanted to marry me.
We have one child, a boy. napakasakit lang isipin na hindi man lang maging legal ang aming pagsasama coz anullment is pretty expensive. Sana magkaroon na lang ng batas na kapag 7 years ng hiwalay pwede na ulit magpakasal.
common law or living together is ok. my bf and i have been living together for 2 yrs juz bec we decided not to get married just yet – no prev relationships – no exes.
it is by choice. yes we have arguments – but we stay together bec of our love – we also dont have kids together. our relationship is well and we are both very faithful. what is stopping us? we’ve seen marriages fail – ours is special – marriage will ruin everything.
Hi, We need a good advise from a lawyer. Our situation is My mother died 18 years ago. Mt father at that time is working abroad. after 3 years, he lived with this woman and had their marriage certficate fixed(fake) so that this woman could join my dad abroad. Upon arrival of this girl on (country) my father learned that she is pregnant. so my dad sent her home. Still they have communication and even acknowledge the womans child so the child is carrying my fathers surname. he still decided to live with her. By the way, this woman is previously married but not legally separated. After 15 years they are still living together. This woman is not working and depends only on my dad. We are not even in good terms with her because she comptetes with us.
My question is, In case my father die? does this owman have the right on my dads properties, Money, etc. how bout his son?
How about us (3 daughters) from teh first legal marriage?
we are really ot after the money, what we wat is our rights ad to make sure that whatever my dad left will be given to the right person.
We are absolutely sure that this woman is only after my dad’s money.
please enlighten us on this matter. thanks.
I
Hannah,
Check if the marriage certificate is officially registered with the Civil Registrar. You can check by requesting a copy of the alleged marriage certificate from Census. If the Census will give you no results, then you have nothing to worry about. That means your Dad went so far as to only obtain a fake marriage certificate.
If you can obtain a copy of the fake marriage certificate, you can file a case against the woman for falsification. However, your Dad might also be implicated in the case.
A paramour does not have any right over the properties of your Dad. She will get nothing. However, under the Family Code, the illegitimate child will get half of the properties that a legitimate child like you is suppose to inherit from your Dad.
The foregoing reply is based on the facts as written by you. I suggest you consult with a lawyer. Prepare complete details of your circumstances. If possible, write your problem so that you will have a guide and you are organized as you talk to a lawyer.