Wedding Survival Guide for Men

Our office is a stone’s throw away from one of the better (and, unfortunately, expensive) wedding venues in town. With our office balcony facing the venue, we would often be treated to spectacular fireworks, courtesy of the paying bride and groom. It reminds me of my wedding, which I survived 2 years ago. Having survived the initiation rites, I believe I could suggest certain tips to the brave neophytes who would want to get into this marriage fraternity.

Weddings are for brides. Men want a simple wedding – say “I do”, sign the marriage contract and just “go home,” which is practically synonymous with “do not disturb”. However, because men love women (or we are simply masochistic), we would willingly suffer through the preparation and ceremony of wedding. Women, on the other hand, have planned their dream wedding since childhood. Bottomline: if you love your bride, let her enjoy one of her life’s highlights (some other highlights include the birth of your first child and, ahem, meeting you, of course).

Look for great people to surround your bride. We said that weddings are for brides; it’s their show. A happy bride wouldn’t give you a headache. Keep your bride happy. Make sure that the key people around her keeps her happy. Check if she’s comfortable with the wedding coordinator, caterer, photographer, videographer, flower supplier, band, singer and everyone else. I got lucky, our wedding coordinator (Chinkie Uy-Agregado) and photographer (John Aguas) are great at what they do.

Encourage your bride join a bride group. Since your bride is running the show, you can just imagine the pressure she’s in. You must find ways of diffusing the pressure, because its level is inversely proportional to your happiness. One way is to let her spend time with her fellow brides. My wife was a member of WeddingsAtWork or W@W. They shared tips and stories. They compared who are the better suppliers. Some became my wife’s friends, and, since our wedding pushed through, they also became my good friends.

Say “yes” more often. I’m sure you’ve read of articles and books teaching you how to say “No”. This time, I’m saying you sould learn to say “yes”. Do I look pretty? Yes. Can we spend this much? Yes. Can we get a wedding coordinator? Yes. Can we have the reception in this location? Yes, dear. Do I look fat? Ahh, this is a trick question; be careful.

Be on time for the wedding. My ex-girlfriend, now my wife, had only one demand during the entire wedding preparations – I should be in church on time. She said she’ll take care of all the preparations (she said that as if it’s a burden), but I must promise to be on time (aside from saving enough) for the wedding. I came on time. My bride saw me waiting near the altar. I conquered.

Or is it “was conquered”? Peace.

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